Solstice Shadows
The shadows grow sharp this time of year, as light slants between bare trees from the southern horizon. On cool clear days, the air has lost its moisturizing effect; shapes and lines stand out more harshly. Distant ridge lines can now be seen through the forest, and the comfort of the canopy above is gone. It is beautiful; it can also be harsh.
Perhaps we feel this dichotomy internally as well. The light of holiday parties and the dark of missing the ones we love. The cheer of gathering and fires and warm sweet treats, the grind of forced family time complete with it’s well worn dynamics, anxiety, and alcohol-fueled arguments. The joy of gift giving, the desperation of compulsive consumption. The invitation to slow down in the dark season, and the perfectionistic drive to do it right.
There is no denying that seasons have an effect, on nature, on schedules, on our animal bodies, and even on the cultural or personal expectations we perpetuate.
Expectations to:
Push performance through EOY (End of Year)
Physically train with the same pace you had in late spring
Attend all the parties, holiday cocktail time is here!
Say yes to every request
Eat all the cookies, even the not-so-yummy ones
Buy all the presents
Make everyone in your family happy ;)
Or perhaps do the opposite of all of the above:
Crash into your Seasonal Affective Disorder and say no to all invitations
Diet so you don’t gain weight over the holidays
Vent to your partner about all the ways your family hurts you
Shame yourself and others for spending money on gifts
A question we invite as we come to the longest night of the year:
What is this season FOR?
We might begin by determining who/where we look to help answer this question.
Looking to nature we see that this season is for slowing down in order to keep going, it is an exhale so that we have energy for the burst of another cycle next spring. It is for celebrating all that we have accomplished and produced this year and then letting it go, turning inward to nourish our roots, resting in the face of cold temperatures and harsh conditions.
When we look at history of human traditions we see that it is a time for lighting candles, adorning trees, sharing meals and gifting our resources. As the sun retreats from us, we tend our own lights to share with our close community.
What is the modern translation that can help these aspects of the season feel relevant? Rather than offer a list of action steps to “perform well during the holidays,” the approach can be more gentle, but also more nuanced:
Presence.
With your body: What level of activity does it crave? How might it need rest? To practice presence might require experimenting with a little bit of “the opposite”: a slightly less intense workout or shift towards mobility over speed… or the opposite of hiding out indoors might be bundling up for a brisk walk in the cold night air. Notice the ways that stress builds in the body, and what serves your physical wellbeing after all the specific highs and lows of your year.
With your nourishment: Taking a lesson from Ayurveda and enjoying the festive meals with a slower pace, appreciating the flavors and the fruits of the year, and choosing what actually fuels you (hint: probably not a dry crunchy salad, and also probably not the 10th cookie that you don’t even taste). Recognizing that nourishment is about more than calories in/calories out. It can be about savoring the here and now more fully: visiting winter light displays, creating gifts, feasting on live music, time in nature, a gratitude journal practice, yoga or other mindful body movement, real conversations with loved ones (as opposed to text threads and social media posts), cooking and baking, hot saunas or baths, time by the fire or even a candle vs. a screen.
With your people: There may be gatherings that you need to attend. Who do you want to gift your attention to? Can you give permission to leave just a little earlier? and seek out quality time with those you love rather than racing from commitment to commitment? Whose company do you crave?
With your self: You have made it through another cycle of growth, fruiting, and letting go. Reflecting on your year, what have been your proudest moments? What has brought grief? What have you contributed to your community and/or family, and what gifts have you received? What emotions are present this time of year, and how can you create supportive space to be with these feelings? Honoring the past year can help us also let it go; dropped leaves turn into nourishment for the roots below.
At Bright Shadow we are grateful for the year of growth, lessons, and most of all the individuals that have become the Bright Shadow community. Your presence, curiosity, vulnerability, wisdom, humor, donations, and poetry are gifts to all of us.
Please remember that we are here for you, to reach for the throw rope when you need it.
with warmth and care as we close out the year,
Sommerville (and the Bright Shadow team)